[chihuahua man]
[Time: 3'43"]
[Lyrics: Thom Woodley]
[First performed September 20, 1997 -- show #2]
[Appears on "Pastor of Muppets", track 12]
[Tim: double bass, vocals, Nevin: violin, vocals, Kort: banjo, vocals, Jamie: percussion, vocals, Andy: accordion, vocals, Thom: guitar, vocals]


This is a song from a complete musical Thom wrote, about the famous Chihuahua Man.
It is now home to the infamous "Oh, YEAH!" Macho Man-like yell from Jamie,
to arouse the listener who has grown inattentive after twelve album tracks.


It was many many years ago that this story first began
When the moonlight shone its splendor on a not-so-distant land
Allentown, Pennsylvania
It was a rainy Monday morning when this tale of woe began
For on that morning in St. Luke's hospital was born
The mysterious chihuahua man!

yip yip!

So you all believe in Santa Claus or little men from Mars?
And you all believe in wishing on a futile fallen star?
And you believe that you can make it rain by just washing your car?
Well then listen as i tell you the most far-fetched tall of all

Chihuahua man, come and see him
I know you won't believe your eyes
Chihuahua man, how'd you like to be him
And how'd you like to hear his whimpered cries
With his pointy ears, and a little black nose
He runs and yips and barks as loud as he can
A freak of anture, his genes betrayed him
And now he's just the mysterious chihuahua man

Yip yip!

Well, his father was a plumber and his mama worked at Pete's
Which was the combination strip club-restaurant a few blocks down the street
When the boy was born his parents said 'There must be some mistake.'
But soon of course they realized their son was just a freak
Well they left him in an orphanage in a basket at the door
But the nuns there didn't want him none so they dropped him down the sewer
He was found by a traveling street bum while laying there for dead
And the bum just took one look, and he clapped his hands and said:

He's a chihuahua man, in the sewer!
Not quite a man but yet not quite a dog
Chihuahua man, maybe I should take him home
But he might just go and dump right on the rug
A freak of nature, why just to see him
People would travel from all over the land
And so I'll sell him to the circus
And start a fresh life for the mysterious chihuahua man!

Yip yip!
Chihuahua man!
Yip yip!


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