[spleen]
[Time: 4'02"]
[Lyrics: Thom Woodley, Andy Wagner]
[First performed February 23, 1999 -- show #20]
[Appears as track #3 on "Mainstream Mayhem"]
[Tim: upright bass, Nevin: viola, Jamie: percussion, Andy: guitar, vocals, Thom: banjo, percussion, vocals]


Not to be confused with "Spline," our hit math-rock number,
this song extrapolates on the trite hallmarks of Hallmark cards
and pop songs to examine those parts of the body previously
(and obviously erroneously) thought to be unromantic.


she asked if she could have my heart
i said "i've only got one,"
and i don't think it comes apart
i need it, a man can't live with none
she asked if she could have my hand
i laughed and said, "i've only got two,
and you know that i'm a man
such a big hairy hand would look pretty stupid on you,"
"and where would you put it?"

but i have something i can give you
i'd give you my hand and my heart and my stomach and everything in between
of course i could give you flowers or candy
or hallmark cards with little pictures of kittens saying "i miss you"
but if you're set on this internal organ thing
you can have my spleen

do you think i'm unromantic?
a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do and this man's gotta prove his love to you
i'm just being practical
but you only love me when i'm eloquent, or when i buy you jewelry
you'd accept a coat made out of hundreds of flea-bitten rodents
but you won't take a deadbeat organ from the guy who massaged your feet and did your laundry
i love you all over my body
that includes my heart, that includes my hand, that includes my spleen

but leave my pancreas alone
and leave my colon alone
but you can have my semi-colon.


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