[no talent celebrity tag]
[Time: 4'37"]
[Lyrics: Holy Mary, Mother of Bert, Evan Dorkin]
[First performed October 5, 1997 -- show #3]
[...where exactly does it appear?]
[Tim: electric bass, Nevin: viola, Kort: bouzouki, Jamie: percussion, vocals, Andy: guitar, vocals, Thom: guitar, vocals]


Based off the game played by Evan Dorkin's "Milk and Cheese" characters, this song is another campfirey tune that basically allows to rattle off names of no-talent celebrities (our humble opinion, and we tend to include ourselves in the song, so that of course makes everything AOK. Hmmm...) There really isn't a set of lyrics that's laid out in stone, but it tends to follow a format. Here's an example:


Tag, you're Nipsy Russell
Tag, you're Pauly Shore
Tag, you're Jenny McCarthy
Tag, you're Christina Aguilera

No talent celebrity tag!

Tag, you're David Hasselhoff
Tag, you're Paula Abdul
Tag, you're Chris Rock
Tag, you're Yahoo Serious

No talent celebrity tag!

Tag, you're Barbara Bush
Tag, you're N'Sync!
Tag, you're Dick Van Patten
Tag, you're "Saved By The Bell's" Dustin Diamond!

No talent celebrity tag!

Audience round!
Tag, you're... Downtown Julie Brown!
Tag, you're... Rick Schroeder!
Tag, you're... Bronson Pinchot!
Tag, you're... John Tesh!

No talent celebrity tag!

Osmonds, and Olsens, and Hansons, oh my!
Camerons, and Baldwins, and Nelsons, oh my!
Wahlbergs, and Lawrences, and Wayans, oh my!
Jacksons, and Jacksons, and Jacksons, and Jacksons, and us!

No talent celebrity tag!

Tag, you're Julio Iglesias
Tag, you're Britney Spears
Tag, you're Steve Guttenberg
Tag, you're Judith Hoag!

Wait, who's Judith Hoag?
She was April in the Ninja Turtles Movie!

No talent celebrity tag!


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